A girlfriend told me once that size doesn’t matter.
I assume she was talking about my shoes.
Come to think of it, a lot of my past girlfriends have been concerned with my shoe size… weird.
It’s not only women who have a knack for squeezing their footsies into a shoe that simply shouldn’t fit.
I too, have been known to bend the biological physics rule book when I have set my heart on a particular pair of shoes.
My favourite, and most painful, pair are my Tom Rebls. I usually take a 42-43 in men’s shoes. These are a 40. Now before you go and call me an idiot, think about this. Tom Rebl is not normally stocked in Australia. Anywhere. This made it a rarity. They had a cuban heel. Okay, now you can call me an idiot.
Seriously though, when I tried these on, I made that shoehorn work harder than it had ever worked before. Once I got them on though (after a good 5 minutes of the salesperson looking at me like I was mad), they looked amazing and surprisingly didn’t feel that tight after all. I’ll take ‘em!
I thought I could stretch them out by wearing them around the house for the day. Once again, I fought to get those puppies on. Things were feeling fine, I wasn’t walking like a retarded frog, my ankles weren’t oozing over the edge of the shoe. I only started to get worried when I realised the reason that the shoes weren’t hurting was because I had lost all feeling in my legs below the knee. I peeled them off… isn’t it funny that it’s just as hard, if not harder, getting tight shoes off? There my feet were, exposed, bloodless, looking like two albino raisins. Was it worth the hours of pins and needles as the blood slowly refilled my feet? Damn straight it was! These things were gorgeous!
I have since learnt to only wear them on occasions that I won’t be walking long distances, dancing, walking short distances, standing, walking at all, or breathing.
Tom Rebl – $299
