I went to a friend’s unknownth birthday on the weekend.
She decided to theme the night “saints and sinners”.
I’m sure it would come as no surprise to you to find that I was going to go as a saint.
But nobody becomes a saint without a lil paddlin’….
Shoes – Squire
Trousers – Arthur Galan
Shirt – Griffin
Jacket – Jack London
Yes?
Or…
N… Oh, who am I kidding?
Of course it’s a yes.
It looks fabulously understatedly fashionable, which is what we all strive for, isn’t it?
You know those times when an outfit just falls together?
This, Occasional Reader, was one of those times.
I have no doubt the Squire Mikes played no small part in making this outfit work.
Shoes – Squire Mikes
Jeans – Just Cavalli
Shirt – Premonition
Jacket – Jack London
I sometimes walk around in public with my fly completely undone.
This causes people to do a double take as they walk past me.
I like to imagine it’s because I’m that good looking.
A beige clad existence couldn’t be all bad when it could look like this.
Shoes – Squire
Shirt – Ted Baker
Suit – Jack London
I went along to see the Addams Family musical the other night.
Now I’m sure some of you want nothing more than one of my accurate, in-depth and unbelievably insightful reviews, and I would like nothing more than to give you one. A review, that is.
It was fun.
It was light.
It was entertaining.
Four gerbils.
Do I hear you all clamouring to find out what I was wearing?
Of course I do.
Seriously, who doesn’t like dressing up for the theatre?
Shoes – Squire
Trousers – Revival
Shirt – Pulp Kitchen
Vest – Revival
I’ve been asked the question many times.
How, with a head like mine, do I convince someone to go on a date with me more than once?
I understand that one date could be put down to a lack of judgement.
Two dates could be attributed to double checking, or even a dare.
A third date though? Or a fourth?
Yep!
I convinced her to agree to a third date, and already have confirmed a fourth!
Did I tell her I had a terminal disease, and wouldn’t be around long enough to impact on her commitment issues?
No.
Did I offer her money to pretend to the world in general she actually liked having her arm linked in mine?
Of course not. I’m too much of a cheap arse.
Did I take her to bed and rock her sexual world, essentially ruining any future encounters for her, knowing that they wouldn’t hold a candle to the hours of passion spent under my covers?
Well, yes I did, but that wasn’t the reason for her returning.
This is the reason for her wanting to continue seeing me.
My dress sense.
Can you blame her?
Shoes – Squire
Jeans – Scotch & Soda
Shirt – Bossini
Jacket – A Mike Original
So I was glancing at my reflection in the mirror for about 20 minutes the other night and thought “You know what? If I was gay, I’d definitely date me.”
We’d have ever so much fun together!
We’d eat out at fancy restaurants and dingy takeaways.
We’d go shopping at the trendiest stores and hidden outlets.
We’d skip through shoe departments and play fashion parades in the change rooms.
We’d… Oh wait…
I’ve just described my past week.
Turns out I’m already dating myself.
Without the sex, though.
I’ve been holding out on me!
What the hell is going on when I can’t even convince myself to sleep with me?
I’m not sure this is going to work out after all.
Shoes – Squire
Shirt – Premonition
Tie – Arthur Galan
Suit – Jack London
I wore this outfit the other day on one of my very rare shopping expeditions and to meet a friend for lunch.
I’m going to have to wear it more often.
I went to lunch and the first thing my friend said was “You’ve lost weight!”
I walked into one of my regular clothing stores, and the salesperson there exclaimed “Wow! You’ve lost a lot of weight!”
Then of course, I went in to Squire, where Peter commented on how good I was looking.
There’s nothing that cheers one’s day more than being told by numerous people how good one is looking.
We’re talking about weight here.
I can’t do anything about the ugly.
Shoes – Ferrante
Trousers – Hugo Boss
Shirt – Scotch & Soda
It almost happened, Occasional Reader.
I came so close to falling completely and utterly in love recently.
Who knew it could take so little, but I thought I’d let you all in on the top three pre-requisites to make a man, namely me, fall in love with you.
1. Own a shoe store.
Peter at Squire shoes owns a shoe store.
2. Offer exemplary personal service to a shoe buying customer.
Peter at Squire shoes recently offered this.
I was a little gaga over one of his new ranges in store (pictured). Because of the polished swirled leather finish, there was a difference between each pair in the shade of tan. I personally liked the lighter shade, which only seemed to be in sizes too large. My size seemed to be a couple of shades darker.
Rather than shrug the shoulders and hope I’d buy a darker shade, Peter kindly went out to his warehouse later in the week, found a pair in my size that matched the shade of the larger sizes, and called me to come in and have a look.
The shade was perfect, and before I knew it, a gorgeous addition to the Shoeplex had taken up residence.
You can’t get that kind of service in many places nowadays.
The final requirement to have me fall in love?
3. Have a vagina.
Peter at Squire shoes does not have a vagina.
*Sigh*
Love has passed me by once more.
It was so close.
Shoes – Squire
I’ve been asked numerous times why I feel the need to own so many shoes.
My answer changes with each purchase, but I can confidently say that no matter what the occasion, I am likely to have the perfect pair of shoes to suit.
For example, there are those times when one absolutely must camouflage oneself whilst standing on grandmother’s carpet.
Even if she didn’t have those cataracts, she wouldn’t be able to see me in these puppies.
Shoes – Squire
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