Tag Archives: fashion

How do I do it?

21 Apr

I’ve been asked the question many times.

How, with a head like mine, do I convince someone to go on a date with me more than once?

I understand that one date could be put down to a lack of judgement.

Two dates could be attributed to double checking, or even a dare.

A third date though? Or a fourth?

Yep!

I convinced her to agree to a third date, and already have confirmed a fourth!

Did I tell her I had a terminal disease, and wouldn’t be around long enough to impact on her commitment issues?

No.

Did I offer her money to pretend to the world in general she actually liked having her arm linked in mine?

Of course not. I’m too much of a cheap arse.

Did I take her to bed and rock her sexual world, essentially ruining any future encounters for her, knowing that they wouldn’t hold a candle to the hours of passion spent under my covers?

Well, yes I did, but that wasn’t the reason for her returning.

This is the reason for her wanting to continue seeing me.

My dress sense.

Can you blame her?

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Shoes – Squire

Jeans – Scotch & Soda

Shirt – Bossini

Jacket – A Mike Original

 

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Your opinion?

12 Apr

Yes!

or…

No!

or…

What the hell was I thinking?

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Shoes – Brando

Trousers – Paul Smith

Shirt – Colour Times

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Karma. It’ll get what’s coming to it.

11 Apr

Sometimes I swear the Universal Gods read this blog and occasionally want to get a mention.

So Gods, here you go.

Don’t say I don’t do anything for you.

I opened my mailbox the other afternoon, and the first thing I saw was a Post Office slip informing me I had a package to pick up.

They could only be one thing.

My Fluevogs!

As if that wasn’t a happy enough moment in front of the mailbox, I also found my tickets to South Pacific in a few month’s time.

I was so excited, I jumped straight back in the car and headed up to the Post Office.

I picked up my babies, and it was only when I drove back into the driveway, I realised I didn’t have my house keys on me.

I must have left them hanging in the mailbox door!

The same mailbox door that was conspicuously without keys hanging out of it!

Somebody had taken my keys.

That same somebody now had access to my apartment.

To my shoes!

NOOOOOooooo!!!!

It was then that a guy standing at the front gate approached me and asked if I was from Apartment xx.

He was just a random jogger that was, funnily enough, jogging past, and he noticed my keys hanging from my mailbox.

He pulled them out and had been buzzing my apartment number on the intercom for the last ten minutes or so.

How lucky was I, and how honest was he?

One of my friends said something about karma.

I agree.

This was my karma for being so freaking awesome and ordering green Fluevogs.

I assume that’s what she meant.

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Shoes – John Fluevog

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Here I go again.

6 Apr

My dear Occasional Reader,

Once again, I’m embarking on a quest to embarrass myself.

I’m aiming for a whole new level of international embarrassment this time, and I’m hoping that you can help me achieve it.

 

You may remember me wearing this outfit last year to a show.

Looking back on it, I seriously wonder what I was thinking.

The good thing, however, is it has given me the perfect entry for this “fashion fail” competition.

So far, from what I’ve seen of the competition on the site, I should win this hands down.

I’m easily the worst dressed man on there, and I’m in an outfit I actually wore out.

In public.

On purpose.

I just need your votes.

Save an idiot.

Vote today.

http://promoshq.wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/318232/voteable_entries/66122537

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http://promoshq.wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/318232/voteable_entries/66122537

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100!

17 Jan

One hundred followers!

How many followers does one need to formally become a cult?

I’ll need every one of you to forward me your life savings, so I can buy a retreat in the hills where I can educate you all with the Teachings of the Shoe.

I shall be baptised anew as The Grand Choo!

We will read together from great works of literature, like the Taming of the Shoe, A Tale of Shoe Cities, and Shoe Koo Ka Shoe, I Am The Walrus.

Of course, being a cult and all, and with me as your revered leader, we’re all going to have to indulge in group sex.. With shoes on. Hey, don’t judge me, it’s the rules.

We will live in peace, harmony and perfectly fitted footwear forever!

Okay, maybe not forever, but a while.

When we finally shuffle off this mortal coil in our beaded slippers, we will then be re-united with our loved ones.

Not those loved ones, our real loved ones!

Christian, Jimmy, Stacy and Donald, all together again, skipping through the heavenly aisles, red soles flashing in the….

Oh. Sorry.

Got a little distracted there.

Seriously though, hitting the 100 followers mark is a pretty cool feeling.

I trust I’ve kept you all relatively entertained for the past eight months or so?

Now that I’ve expanded the blog to include my food, I should have at least another eight months worth of crap to show you.

Don’t worry though, it’s really good crap.

At least I think it is.

Thank you, Occasional Reader, for your mouse clicking finger. For clicking on that like or follow button, and for validating one man’s obsession(s), even if you didn’t mean to.

P.S. Don’t forget to send the money. This Kool Aid isn’t cheap.

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Do they make stylish straitjackets?

7 Jan

I’m only asking because I may know someone who might be able to rock the look.

They already have the crazy down pat.

leathertrim2

Vintage look.

Not the most practical for everyday use, but will stop the wearer from throwing kitchen knives, which is pretty handy.

I seem to have upset a certain little someone with my recent post on excessive and obsessive texts.

I would apologise, but I’m not exactly sorry.

Sometimes you have to start smelling like an asshole before people will move away.

A little Mike wisdom there for you all.

Let’s move on, shall we?

As you may know, I’m a huge fan of the neon sole trend getting around.

During the New Year sales, I was able to snaffle these beauties for a ridiculous price.

Yes, I know they’re only Julius Marlow, but they were marked down to a price that I believe Julius Marlow shoes are actually worth nowadays.

Julius Marlow used to be a well made brand, deserving of their middle of the range price bracket.

I still have a beautiful pair of dress shoes that I bought years ago that are still stylish and in perfect condition.

Unfortunately, it seems their design and manufacturing have been moved to cheaper options, because in recent years I have bought a number of Marlow shoes and they have steadily become quite bland in their designs, or started to fall apart within a few wears.

When I saw these on the shelf however, marked down from $149 to $39, I snapped them up.

They look a lot more stylish than their recent offerings and are at least following a trend, and let’s face it, for that price I’m prepared for them to start falling apart after a few wears.

The only issue I have, is the blue synthetic sole attracts a lot of dirt and is very noticeable. Because it’s not rubber, and more a porous hard foam type sole, a wet rag won’t wipe it off and a toothbrush just seems to smudge any dirt marks.

Because of the material used, I’m not sure a spray on shield will work either.

It looks like they may not have time to fall apart after a few wears, because I sure as hell won’t be wearing them if the sides of the sole look too dirty.

Any suggestions?

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Shoes – Julius Marlow

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In the pink!

29 Dec

Creative Recreation have now boarded the neon bandwagon.

These attention grabbing little suckers definitely could make a boring outfit pop.

It seems everyone is bringing out some version of the two tone shoe with neon highlights or neon soles nowadays.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining.

I quite like the trend.

Now the high street fashion is filtering down to the cheaper end of the market, we’re seeing affordable neon hit the shelves, and I for one, couldn’t be happier.

I picked these up for less than $50!

Neon pink.

Bring back the 80′s!

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Shoes – Creative Recreation

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An addition to the show?

8 Dec

Serious question time:

I was walking through Newtown this morning and I saw this woman walking down the opposite side of the street.

It’s hard to describe how she was dressed, but the words impeccably alternative punk come to mind.

My serious question is this:

Would it be creepy walking up to a stranger on the street and asking to take their picture for a personal blog?

Is there an expected etiquette to follow?

Would you, Occasional Reader, personally find it flattering, or invading?

Should I have business cards ready to hand out with my name and the blog address on them to show I was genuine?

Should I keep a bag of hard candy in my pocket? No, wait. That’s definitely creepy.

Am I over thinking this?

I’m considering adding a weekly post to my blog.

Something along the lines of “Favourite Street Look of the Week” or ” Sunday Strangers”.

I’m talking real people on the street, not models pretending they’re having the time of their lives whilst being dressed in high street fashion and riding a unicycle.

Your thoughts?

Not on the idea, because I think it’s a fabulous idea.

On the etiquette, if any, of approaching strangers, without candy.

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I need some new shoes.

29 Nov

Seriously!

I really do!

I swear this isn’t the shoe addiction kicking in, nor am I suffering withdrawal symptoms because I haven’t bought a pair of shoes in over a month.

Oh, wait a minute. Yes I did.

I swear this isn’t the shoe addiction kicking in, nor am I suffering withdrawal symptoms because I haven’t bought a pair of shoes in over a fortnight.

Oh, crap.

I swear this isn’t the shoe addiction kicking in, nor am I suffering withdrawal symptoms because I haven’t bought a pair of shoes in over a bloody week!

I really do need a new pair of shoes.

Yellow ones.

In over 100 pairs of shoes within the shoeplex, there’s not one yellow pair.

How could I have overlooked this?

How could I have amassed such an impressive footwear collection, but completely ignored the colour yellow?

Does this make me yellowist?

You’re right, of course.

It IS unacceptable, and I AM ashamed to call myself a shoe connoisseur!

Yes, I understand that you’re willing to forgive me because I’m incredibly good looking, but I will endeavour to rectify this problem as soon as good taste and even better dress sense will allow.

In the meantime, please allow yourself to be distracted by these red suede shoes.

Mmmmm… hairy shoes!

 

 

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Who needs an excuse?

8 Oct

As you well know, occasional reader, I only need the slightest excuse to find a reason to dress up.

Yesterday however, I was given a legitimately large excuse to prettify my person.

One of my closest friends called me earlier in the week and gave me the opportunity to fill in for her boyfriend as a wedding guest.

I didn’t need to be asked twice.

The ceremony was beautiful, the bride was gorgeous, the other bride was equally gorgeous.

The women were stunningly dressed, the men were… well… on the whole, it kind of looked like they were all off to work on a casual dress day.

Seriously, apart from the groomsmen, I didn’t see one male that looked like they had put some kind of effort into their dress.

Apart from me, of course.

I was dressed to impress!

Shoes – Squire

Trousers – Jack London

Shirt – Idelord Paris

Jacket – Dolce & Gabbana

 

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