Tag Archives: Bally

Speaking of testicles….

6 Feb

I was in Newtown yesterday morning for work and as I was walking along King Street, I noticed these two guys notice each other and stop for a chat.

Nothing remarkable about that.

They were dressed kind of grungy, but not in a good way, so nothing remarkable about that either.

What I found so remarkable that I had to stop and surreptitiously observe them, was their style of speaking.

Each time one of them spoke, he would either scratch his scrotum, adjust his accoutrements, or simply clutch his crotch and hold on to it while he spoke.

Then the other one would reply and do exactly the same thing to himself.

I swear it was fascinating, disgusting, and slightly disturbing all at the same time to watch.

It put a whole new meaning to holding the talking stick.

I ended up having to leave them to go to my appointment, but I’m not sure the conversation could have gone on for long before one of them may have prematurely ended it.

Thankfully, one doesn’t have to stimulate oneself when observing this pair of gorgeousnesses… es.

Things really should just happen naturally.

They do for me, anyway.

Is that wrong?

SONY DSC

Shoes – Bally

 

Well, that was a waste of time.

21 Nov

No, I’m not talking about my most recent 45 seconds of self pleasure.
I’m talking about the joke that was clickfrenzy.com.au
I believe this was supposed to be a clone of the Mad Monday online sale in the U.S. but I have the sneaking suspicion that this wouldn’t have even held a candle to that.
I was really hoping that the sale would be genuinely exciting and live up to the hype that has been thrust upon us in the last month or so.
For no other reason than to research shopping options for my loyal readers, I dutifully pre-registered, then logged on at 7pm last night.
Well, attempted to log on. As I attempted to log on at 7.30, 8, 9, and 10.30pm. The hype had certainly taken hold, and the site wasn’t handling the traffic, surprise surprise.
Being the persistent purchaser that I am, I tried again at 6am when I woke, and I was straight in.
Of course, my first port of call was the men’s shoe section.
How does 60% off men’s shoes sound? That sounds fantastic! Don’t mind if I do! What brands? Bally? Hugo Boss? Stacy Adams?
Errmmm… how about Hush Puppies? Hush Puppies? Hush f^#%*ing Puppies?? I wasn’t aware anyone other than senile old men or mental asylum patients wore Hush Puppies. I wasn’t even aware they made them anymore! I wouldn’t wear Hush Puppies even if they were giving them away.
Lets move on to men’s clothing, shall we? We have men’s jeans at 30% off. Funnily enough, exactly the same discount that has been offered in store for the last month or so. Oh, Myer have 50% off a range of shirts. It’s a shame they’re the type of shirts you only see worn in special care homes.
Okay. In the interests of giving the whole site a fair go, let’s move to cameras and electronics.
I found the Nikon J1 pack for $649 from Camera House. The same pack I picked up for $580 in July of this year. From Camera House.
What about fragrances? There’s plenty of bargains to be had on fragrances, if you don’t mind smelling like possum piss.
Basically, the only genuinely reduced items that I could find on the site were for products that simply wouldn’t sell off the shelves.
The rest of the items weren’t reduced any more than what you could already get in store or any more than what you could negotiate with the retailer.
There seemed to be more choices in the womenswear section, but clearly I don’t buy enough women’s clothing to make an educated judgement on the choices within.
Hush Puppies, indeed!
P.S. I’m away from home at the moment and can’t seem to upload pictures via the iPad, so you’ll just have to make do with my ramblings without the pretty pictures.
P.P.S. Goddamn Hush Puppies!

Speaking of fabulous….

14 Nov

It’s been a while since I photographed my place of worship.

During my weekly exercise of wiping down the residents of the shoeplex, using a fairy tear soaked unicorn hair chamois of course, I noticed that the quality of life has definitely improved in the right hand side.

The right side of the shoeplex used to be the drab, everyday type resident, with mostly black, beige or simply blurk-type shoes.

Nowadays, regular residents include Armani, Bally, Pirelli, and the like.

There’s no longer any shame in being relegated to the closed door side of the shoeplex.

Hell, the Louboutins have even spent some time in there!

There’s now a true rotation policy between right and left side of the shoeplex, with nearly everyone having their turn in the glass house.

And it’s all down to me.

I’m the one that conducts the culls to rid the shoeplex of those beige residents that just don’t appeal anymore.

I’m the one that goes out in search of new additions to my shoe community.

I’m the one that finds a home for those beautifully unique and colourful residents.

I’m a wonderful human being, really I am.

I love you, Mike.

 

The Shoeplex

Apologies for my absence.

8 Jul

Or is that abscess? No, that’s gross, it’s definitely absence.

I’ve had a couple of quite.. errrr… interesting days. I found out very suddenly late last week that I am redundant. Well, actually, my job is redundant, I still exist.

It is for this reason I have been silent on the blog. Something about becoming one of the unwashed and unemployed masses kind of dulls one’s desire to talk about the pretty things in one’s life.

After much deep soul searching, which, if you know me wasn’t that deep at all, I’ve decided that if I’m going to be unemployed, I may as well be well dressed while unemployed.

Nothing makes you feel better about not earning an income than adding up all the money you have spent on clothes…. Ooops.

Shoes – Bally $490

Jeans – Armani $160

Shirt – Ted Baker $190

Jacket – Bugatti $220

Winter. A time for discoveries.

24 Jun

I’ve always wondered what people mean exactly when they claim to be “finding” themselves.

I tried finding myself once. Shortest game of hide and seek. Ever.

You found me!

Something I find way more satisfying than self discovery is self outfit discovery. It’s what I love about Winter. All summer, my jacket and coat wardrobe has been ignored, apart from the occasional addition I have picked up at an out of season sale. When the temperature starts to drop, the wardrobe is opened, my dry cleaner starts to celebrate and I start the journey of rediscovering all the fabulous coats and jackets I have managed to amass, and of course, getting reacquainted with some old favourites.

Like this one today. It’s not a designer brand. In fact it’s one of the cheapest jackets I have ever bought, but by God, it’s comfortable, warm, a perfect fit and I think it looks great on me.

Shoes – Hugo Boss $260

Jeans – Voi $90

Shirt – Politix $90

Jacket – St Lenny $60

Bag – Bally $780

Cash Caissons, Resource Receptacles or simply Wonderful Wallets.

19 Jun

I like to collect things. However, through my collecting I fear I may have unearthed some commitment issues.

While I start building the potential collection with vigour, I soon tend to be distracted and move on to something else to collect. Apart from shoes. It’s always been the shoes, those sweet sweet… but I digress, yet again.

One of the collections I plan to go back to build upon is my wallet collection. My current range of wallets is pretty disappointing compared to my other items, and I feel I should really try and commit to making it one worthy of boasting about.

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The attractive thing about a wallet? It’s one of the men’s accessories that doesn’t seem to have to play by the colour rules. There are way too many wallets on my wish list to post on here, so here are just a few favourites. That Louis Vuitton is calling to me…..

Paul Smith

Ralph Lauren

Louis Vuitton

Bally, how I love thee!

15 Jun

I spent the day with my lady love today, wandering the stores of Westfield Sydney.
I was particularly looking for a jacket to wear in a few weeks to a concert at the Sydney Opera House. While the day was highly enjoyable, it was just one of those days.
I found an absolutely beautiful jacket in Ted Baker, but they didn’t have my size.
I then found some very funky shoes in Prada, 50% off don’t you know, but once again, they didn’t have my size.
I got a little excited after finding another gorgeous velvet coat from Jack London in David Jones, but would you believe it, not in my size!
It was on our return back to the car that we happened to walk past the Bally store, and there it was.
Sitting in the window next to the new range women’s shoes and purses, resplendent in it’s resplendentious resplendence ( it deserves a made up word), it answered all my complaining prayers about the lack of colour in designer bags.
“Colour!” I exclaimed to my lady love. “It’s in colour!”
I calmly strolled in to the store, not wanting to scare the salesperson, or have anyone think that I was going to be an easy sell. In reality, you could have tagged and bagged the thing before I had even opened the door.
I had a look around the store and also noticed the promotional Olympics range Bally has released.

Bally 2012 Olympics range


The bags and shoes look nice enough, but I’m not sure of the long term attractiveness of sporting a nation’s flag on your shoes or bag.
The time arrived to stop procrastinating and ask to see the bag in the window. It turned out to be the last one they had as it has been a limited release in Australia. Fine by me, but made all the more sweeter by an offer of 20% off for taking the window stock! While it was a little more than I had envisaged spending for the day, how could I refuse? It’s colour!

Bally Buston – $780

A bag makes the man too.

29 May

I’m a lover of the Man Bag, but haven’t always been so. I used to try and shove all of my worldly and otherworldly possessions into the pockets of my jeans before I went out. This usually resulted in misshapen ass cheeks, pockets so stretched that they were hired out as surrogate kangaroo nurseries, and various sharp objects poking out of the front pockets. You can imagine what that did for my slow dancing abilities with the ladies. On the upside, it really strengthened my STL’s (slap tolerance levels).

Since I discovered the benefits of carrying a bag, I have been able to save my near perfectly symmetrical butt cheeks from looking like a Salvador Dali painting. I’ve also forced kangaroos to be more self sufficient. I still get slapped when slow dancing with the ladies, but have stopped blaming my keys…..

Her are a few of my favourite bags….

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